| Internship Success Indicators|
| passed along by SmellsVishy|
- The President lets you ride on "Air Force One", if you know what I mean.
- Boss not only implements "Casual Fridays" but also "Topless Tuesdays."
- You've just leapfrogged Al Gore in the line of succession.
- "Oooh, yeah, baby -- I'll make you a White House Secretary...
Assistant Chief of Staff... ohhh... Ambassador to Sweden!... Supreme
Court Justice!!! Supreme Court Justice!!!"
- The President has the Secret Service detail your '91 Taurus.
- Buddy no longer wastes time sniffing both your crotch and the President's.
- After your first "meeting" with "The Boss," you move up 2 tax brackets.
- As if national publicity, a $1M movie deal, and $10M in
Democratic hush money wasn't enough, the Paula Jones Foundation for
Homely Women has donated $20K to you for a full makeover.
- You get to sit on Gore's lap during the State of the Union Address.
- You know the White House like you know the back of the President's head.
- Your per diem is bigger than Peru's GNP and your only duty is to keep silent.
- The first lady invites you on a private ski weekend.
- The Vice President isn't the only "stiffie" you've seen in the White House.
- Performance review rated you a "10" in the category "Ability to
turn-on the president with your hillbilly good looks."
- Al Gore's pulse jumps up to 3 when you pass by.
- It ain't Keats, but for Bubba, "Shall I compare thee to a Big Mac"
is pretty damn romantic.