The People We Shall Overcome: Stupid People Humor
< >  Criminal Stupidity

An armed robber who took less than $100 from a 7-11 store gave it back to the stunned clerks because his getaway car wouldn't start. The unidentified suspect claimed the holdup was just a joke. The two clerks agreed to give his vehicle a jump start, not to write down his license plate number and wait about 40 minutes before calling the police. The suspect was arrested one hour later. [St. Peters, Mo., Lubbock Avalanche Journal, 07-13]

A 33-year-old janitor was arrested for stealing policewomen's underwear while working at the Kwai Chung police station in Hong Kong. The man, who was wearing women's underwear at the time of his arrest, pleaded guilty to theft charges. [Hong Kong, Merc News, 07-14]

A bank robber stripped to his underwear and left his jeans behind after a dye pack exploded inside the front of his pants. After demanding cash from one of the bank tellers, the suspect stuffed the bag inside his pants and left the Life Savings Bank building. "(People saw) an explosion taking place inside his pants," Police Spokesman Mike Carey said. "He was seen hopping and jumping around." The suspect was able to escape. "He's probably sitting around with an ice pack in his lap, if he hasn't sought medical attention," Carey added. [Virginia Beach, Va., AP, 07-18]

Two youngsters are probably not old enough to drive but old enough to rob a supermarket. The boys, both under the age of 16, heldup a supermarket in Indianapolis and then attempted to escape by ... taking the bus. The two teen-aged robbers were arrested a few minutes later. [Indianapolis, Reuter, 07-18]

An armed robber on the run shot and wounded a zoo gorilla before he was apprehended by police. The suspect, who was being chased by police, jumped over the Johannesburg Zoo fence and ended up inside the gorilla's cage. The 418-pound animal was quick to defend his territory and female partner and rushed towards the terrified robber who fired two shots. (The outcome - Max the gorilla: shot twice, recovering well. The armed robber: shot in the hip by police officers, stable condition. The two police officers: attacked by the raging gorilla, hospitalized in stable condition.) [Johannesburg, South Africa, Reuter, 07-18]

An unidentified man and a woman were under arrest after throwing hot coffee on a flight attendant and trying to force their way inside the pilots' cockpit during a Continental Airlines flight from Houston. "The woman was banging on the cockpit door and yelling she had a gun," a spokesperson said. [Houston, Reuter, 07-18]

Edward Faherty, 18, was arrested for riding nude on a stolen motorcycle. "He was apparently out for a little fun on a motorcycle stolen in Memphis, Police Chief Tom Long said. "The thing that we were smiling about at the time was here's this nude guy going 90 mph down the interstate. You know the bugs had to be beating him up." The suspect was freed on $15,000 bond. [Senatobia, Miss., AP, 07-18]

A blind Egyptian man, turned professional car stereo thief, was arrested after a witness saw him driving a vehicle for a few miles and then walking away with the stereo. [Cairo, Egypt, Reuter, 07-14]